Argh! Slept too too much yesterday. The idea of discipline is still not strongly grafted into my life yet. I look at those students in school that study so hard and often I have two reactions: firstly, I worry for them. I worry that if they study so hard and focus their life’s goals on achieving the “perfect” job, that they may miss out the point to what Jesus meant when He said he wanted to give us an abundant life (John 10:10). Secondly, however, I envy them. Their discipline seems to stem from a motivation within them that desires to see their goal achieved; perhaps their goal is different from mine, but at least they do everything they can to achieve it. I, however, have a huge problem I realize. I often have passion for a lot of things, but end up never ever seeing them to completion. This is where I desire to change, but that change can only come from a renewed perspective and strength that I need to find in Christ.
I picked up the book “Come Thirsty” today by Max Lucado; been sitting on my drawer for two months, so figured it’s time to wipe that dust off it. I figure I’ll start somewhere, and these two words really attract me: Come thirsty. One sentence in the book – actually it’s a comment by a friend of his – really struck me:
“As physical life is impossible apart from the unique composition of water, so spiritual life is inconceivable apart from the empowerment of “living water”.
This is true, and yet I often try to use too much of my own strength; I pray this will not continue, as I realize that as a leader among people, I keep having to give and give, but there reaches a point –and I think it’s already reached some time ago – where I have nothing to give, because I’m simply giving them “re-runs”; things I already told them or shared with them time and time again. So hear I begin a journey to seek living water, that the verse Jesus promised would be fulfilled and experienced in my life:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:37-38
I will post comments I respond to the questions at the back of his book; this way this blog will be a reminder to myself, and perhaps those questions will also apply to you too. I chose some only, as there are far too many questions for me to type each day.
Prologue questions
I know you are a better person that this. I also know it’s not too late to make a change. This street you’re traveling? The houses look nice, but the road goes nowhere….
- Are you satisfied with the life you’re leading? Explain.
I’d have to say yes and no. Yes, because I’ve really got everything I need and want. Friends who care for me, ministry to serve in and people to support me in those ministries. Clear direction of what/who I want to be in 5 years, a loving family and an amazing girlfriend. I’m not financially burdened in any way, and God has always never failed to provide for me in all my needs. My health has it’s ups and downs but there’s nothing I can truly say that is worth complaining about…… No, because the road I’m heading down is almost so “fixed”, so well planned out for me, people have so much hopes for me (family, friends, church leaders) that I’m almost literally being “directed” towards a path I personally want to get off for a while and go “STOOOOOOOOP!!” I am happy and honored with the plans God has for me, but personally, I am too dry to be a blessing to others at this time.
- Do you ever feel that it’s too late to make a change?
Well….I was thinking about just that this morning. Certain friendships, roles, in my life; I wanted to just give them up and in a way “restart”. Those roles have gone way past their “honeymoon” stage, and now it’s all icky and tough…every step is tough. Sometimes I do feel it’s too late to make any change, that perhaps it’s not my place to make a change, and I should just let go. But no, God teaches it pretty clearly that it’s never too late, until He says so. I don’t think I determine when that is.
- What street are you currently traveling on? Where does the road appear to lead?
It seems to be leading towards full-time ministry, possibly having something to do with young people and music; some kind of combination of that.
Stress signals a deeper need, a longing. We long to fit in, to make a difference. Acceptance, significance – these matter to us. So we do what it takes; we go into debt to buy the house, we stretch the credit card to buy the clothes… and life on the treadmill begins.
- Descrivbe your current stress level
Let’s just say I have to stop what I’m doing and take “deep breathes” way too often!
- What “deeper need” or “longing” can you identify in your own heart?
Well, there’s the more practical one of the desire for comfort; to be comforted by people around me, rather than having to be the one to be strong anymore. There’s also that deepr longing of a very very close relationship with God; one where I can almost hear Him speak all the time. I miss those days….
- When do you most feel as though you’re living on a treadmill?
When I’m busy for ministry, so busy that I don’t have time for myself at all….
We spend a lot of energy going nowhere. At the end of the day, or end of the life, we haven’t moved one step. We’re stuck.
If you continue your present course, where do you think you’ll be in ten years? Fifteen? Twenty?
If I continue like this….I’ll be dead. No, serious. The kind of lifestyle, sleeping, eating habits; they’re not for a human being. I don’t believe I was created to be like this, and God didn’t intend for me to be like this. So if I continue, I will not only burn out, I will expire.
Does your present path keep you near God? What path change should you consider to keep God close?
Ironically, a life full-time devoted to God should keep me ever so close to God. But a life of “doing”, when believing in a God that has “done” all things already…well, it’s not working as well as I though. My path, must change to be more of a relationship with God; more time with Him. More desire to worship Him, than to present Him to my friends. Yes, it’s important to evangelise, but there’s also time I need time alone with God. Jesus was a good example of that.
Lucado’s devotion ended with a review of the Samaritan woman. A question he asked was what was Jesus’ main goal in his interaction with this woman? I’d say a relationship. The ultimate goal was not to reveal her sins, nor was it to ask for water; in fact, Jesus was offering the water she needed to have streams of living water in her. This led to the woman’s 180 degress change, where she became an immediate evangelist for Jesus, going round to tell everyone what He had done; all this started with a relationship.
Father, today I just would like to renew that relationship with you.Nothing too complicated, nothing too fanciful, but just a relationship with You in which I can feel Your presence, and hear You speaking to me in all the things I do. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.